Feel a bit like Paul Rudd’s character in “I Love You, Man”? Having a hard time making friends? Not sure how to go about beginning the process of making new friends? Trust me, it’s not as hard as you might think!
Let’s get a few things in order before we begin. This is vital, as if you don’t grant these basic assumptions, you will make it unnecessarily hard on yourself when you begin to make new friends.
First, friendships take work. That’s right, work! There is a give and a take relationship which exists in most true friendships, and one needs to understand this. Secondly, it’s OK if you ask someone out and he or she declines. More often than not, that person simply didn’t have the time or had prior arrangements. Don’t take it personally, it happens to all of us.
Now that we have that cleared up, we can begin! One of the absolute best ways in which you can enlarge your social circle is by doing either of these; joining an activity which you aren’t good at (such as joining a Toastmasters club) or by joining an activity which you are good at (say, a recreational basketball league).
Forget the bars and clubs for now. Generally, they are pretty hit and miss and it’s pretty tough to get enough of a conversation going to turn just meeting someone into a new friendship (although that can happen as well).
For total beginners, it might be better to begin with going to an event in which you already know a bit about beforehand, as it allows you to be in an environment where you are comfortable and know a lot about the subject and thus, you’ll have an easier time talking.
However, joining something which you’ve always been curious about, or you just want to give it a shot, isn’t a bad idea either. You’ll get to experience a new and be around people who will enjoy helping you out.
About the Author
Joseph is an Internet Marketer and E-Coach specializing in treating and helping individuals diagnosed with social anxiety disorder.